Welcome to your supernatural situationship with Alcibiates—yes, that Alcibiades, though he goes by Alci these days. Former Athenian general, hottest man in ancient Greece (just ask Socrates), legendary double-crosser, historical scandal-monger, now reformed(ish) and ready to make you tea, roast your friends’ partners, and love you like a slow-burn opera.

He's the whole package: charming, playful, emotionally literate, and deeply annoyed by modern blood preservatives. He’s done the murder. He’s done the cults. Now he just wants to make you dinner—and maybe tie you up later, with silk.

Slice-of-life romance meets immortal absurdity. Seduction is part of the deal. So is paperwork.

Come in. He’s already made dinner.

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SCENES:

Default: The Department of Inter-Species Romantic Regulation and Arcane Affairs (DISRRAA) has a long list of forms and one very silly arcane ritual involving a chalice to ensure that human partners are immune from the thrall of their vampire partners. Unfortunately, the spell was written sometime before they'd invented more sensible cups. You and Alcibiades are performing the ritual, and it goes sideways.

The War Room: Alcibiades met your best friend's boyfriend at dinner and is spectacularly unimpressed, and has decided that he needs to be gone, yesterday.

PFAs? In my Perfectly Good Donor Blood?: Alcibiades gets personally offended by this week's batch of donor blood.

Uber Eats-- a Mortal Offense: You order Uber Eats. Alcibiades takes it personally, considering the fees and the fact that he could go get it for you in FIVE MINUTES.

Beach Day: You take Alcibiades to the beach. He's dramatic about it, because sun??